ONE NIGHT
IN WAKEFIELD
By Dan
Stringer
My phone
vibrates and makes the familiar 3-tone melody that indicates a message from
someone via Twitter. Its 11:14 am on Sunday 26th February 2012, and
the message I’m about to read will instigate one of the greatest nights of my
life. It’s from Andrew Jarvis - Jarv.
@ADMJMonsson
to @disgustindesign: The Cribs are looking at getting RF to support them in WF.
Need to borrow any recordings you have x
I read the
message. Then read it again out loud. My wife looks at me with a puzzled
expression, and I read it again. The Cribs are looking at getting RF to support
them in WF. I start typing.....
@disgustindesign
to @ADMJMonsson: Really?
I then
follow this up with.....
@disgustindesign
to @ADMJMonsson: I’m well up for it like!
Well, you
would be wouldn’t you? I mean, playing in your home town with the biggest
credible musical export the place has ever known, people who just happen to be
your mates, and proper nice guys. Why wouldn’t you want to play a gig like
that?
Later that
day we went to my parents’ house for Sunday dinner as usual. I hadn’t had a
reply from Jarv so after mentioning it briefly to the family I thought no more
of it. Funnily enough, that night I was going to meet my mate Neil Laird at the
Flanshaw rehearsal room his band Clown (and a few other Wakefield bands – Imp,
Runaround Kids Piskie Sits etc) rent with a view to using it the week after for
a bit of a musical session with Jarv and Sam Smyth. I text Jarv to let him know
I’d been and we were sorted for the next Sunday, and couldn’t resist ending the
text with “.....were you serious about the Cribs support?” and a reply came
back almost instantly. “They seemed serious, yeah. Greg (Greg Jones – formerly
of Wakefield
bands Homegroan and Cone) wants to play bass and I’ve demanded loads of cash.
We’ll see x”.
It turns out
that the previous night Jarv and Greg were out and about in town and while in
the Inns bumped into Gary and Ryan - Gary was
over from Portland
for the mini-UK tour. After a few drinks and a bit of talk about the old days,
the subject of a Retarded Fish reunion arose, and there was talk of a support
slot at the home town gig.
I knew the
Cribs were looking into a home town gig. Their 10 year anniversary was creeping
up, and the idea had been discussed a couple of times over a drink in the Inns
with Ryan and Jamie Lockhart in January. The Theatre Royal had been mentioned,
and we’d joked about how it could be a proper theatrical performance, with
ushers showing the audience to their seats, and ice cream vendors between
bands. Unity Hall was also mentioned as a venue, but having later attended one
of the tours to promote the share issue, it soon became apparent that the state
of the building would make this a difficult proposition.
Ryan often
asked “.....so Stringer, when are Retarded Fish gonna get back together?” but
to be honest it’s not something I’d really considered, and something I doubted
the other band members would have considered either.
So, Retarded
Fish. Well it all started in 1994 in and around the music scene based mostly at
the now closed Players, and involving mostly students from Wakefield College.
The smoker’s room in the refectory was the hangout for the people in bands as
well as the people who came to the gigs. There was always a great atmosphere in
that room, people playing cards, talking about music, and just doing what 16
and 17 year olds do.
I’d known
Andrew Jarvis, Sam Smyth, Damian Ellis, and Scott Ward from St.
Thomas a Beckett
School. We weren’t really
close to be honest and ours paths didn’t cross that often, only having the
occasional conversation about Iron Maiden, and metal, buts that’s about it.
One Friday
night we were all in Players, there were some bands on and after the last band
finished I thought – in my inebriated state – that it would be a great idea to
get on stage and treat the remaining audience to a 5 minute drum solo. This
went swimmingly, and in effect was my audition for Retarded Fish. The other
guys had been discussing forming a band back at school and had already come up
with the name Retarded Fish and my solo performance came just at the right
time. To coin a football phrase, I’d put myself in the shop window.
The line up
was as follows. Andrew Jarvis – Vocals, Sam Smyth – Lead Guitar, Scott Ward –
Rhythm Guitar, Damian Ellis – Bass, and yours truly, Dan Stringer – Drums.
We rehearsed
in my bedroom. I was fortunate enough to have a good sized room, and as my
drums were there it made sense. My parents were very supportive and enjoyed
having the guys round, feeding and watering us all.
The songs
were - as you might expect for a bunch of 16 and 17 year old kids – quite
basic. Song titles such as Kill the Fish,
Sacrificial Chickens, and Biblical Custard give a fair impression
of our output.
Although I’d
been playing drums for 3 or 4 years by this point, I wasn’t that great. I don’t
think the other guys in the band would dispute that they were in a similar
position, but playing together helped us all develop together.
After a few
months writing and practising, we played our first gig at the Post Haste (now
the Snooty Fox) on Thursday 3rd November 1994. The set consisted of
5 or 6 of our own songs, plus a couple of Nirvana covers and a cover of the
theme tune to the legendary Australian late-night series Prisoner Cell Block H.
This song remained a mainstay of the set right until the end.
The next gig
was the following day. At Players.
I remember
the atmosphere being amazing, mainly because all the same people that graced the
smokers room at college were in the band room upstairs. My first run-in with
Dave Carney was on this night. I’d taken a few of my own cans of Woodpecker
Cider in while setting up the drums, and when questioned as to where I had got
them from I said I’d bought them downstairs at the bar. “We don’t fucking sell
Woodpecker” he replied, before instructing me to get rid. I never crossed Dave
again. I didn’t dare!
Over the
next few months we gigged quite a bit around Wakefield, and entered the Wakefield Battle of
the Bands competition in May 1995. This was held at Unity Hall, and was the
first time we played a gig with a proper stage, lights, a drum riser, and a
room backstage! It was a good do. We didn’t win, some metal band with a proper
poser guitarist who reminded me of Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme won.
As we later
found out an NME interview with Gary from
October 2009 that this was also Gary
and Ryan’s first gig, or it was supposed to be! They were politely kicked out
by a nice old fella in a jumper. They didn’t miss much.
This was
also the last gig we played with Ellis on bass. It was a tough decision to sack
him, but he wasn’t turning up to practice (girlfriend issues!) and wasn’t quite
developing as a musician like the rest of us. That sounds harsh, we weren’t by
any means aficionados, but it just seemed the right time for a change. It was
down to me to break the news. I’ve no idea how that was decided but during a
fag break in rehearsal I sat him down on my bed and told him he was out. He
took it so well, which made it worse.
We had a big
gig only a few weeks later at Clarence Park, playing on the back of an HGV
trailer, so at short notice we recruited the aforementioned Neil Laird
(Homegroan, Clown) to fill in. We already had a replacement in mind for Ellis,
so shortly after that Daniel Jennings joined the band on bass.
By this
time, we had a fairly decent set of songs, and in June we were asked to record
a demo by Phil Greenwood – Guitarist in Homegroan. We’d gigged a lot with
Homegroan over the past 6 months and got to know them pretty well. Phil was
doing a music technology course in Huddersfield,
and somehow managed to get us into the studios for free.
So on
Tuesday 27th June 1995, we spent a day recording our 3 best songs – King Frank, ’95, and Don’t. It was a
great day out. The weather was amazing and we pretty much nailed the 3 songs
one after the other. Tim Bradley (Homegroan, Dugong, Protectors) was also there
to help Phil out. We got the name of the demo that day too.
During
breaks in the recording, we went to this tiny little shop across the road run
by an old guy. He sold a small selection of sweets, papers, cigs, and also cups
of tea and coffee. Phil had told us earlier in the day that if you ask for a
coffee, the guy repeated “a coffee” in a really deep voice. A coffee was duly ordered, and sure enough
the guy replies “a coffee”. This proved to be so memorable that our demo ended
up being called A Coffee.
We released
the demo on cassette (CD’s weren’t an option for small bands at that point, and
vinyl was too expensive and seemed outdated – how ironic!) at a special 1 year
anniversary gig at the Red Shed on Saturday 4th November 1995. It
was a great bill, with Cone (the band that evolved into Milloy) opening, then
our regular gigging buddies Homegroan. We played our longest ever set, mainly
due to a blown fuse and a broken guitar string! It was a great night, and I
still sometimes put the old VHS recording of that gig on and have a good laugh.
The gigs
continue and in April/May 1996 we went into the studio at the Thorne’s Park
campus of Wakefield College (another freebie?) and started recording the next
batch of songs we were playing – Peach
Flannel, Popping Crease, and Pop Bastard. If I recall correctly, we
got the drum and bass tracks down and some of the guitar, but that was about
it. Where these recordings are now I don’t know, they sounded pretty good too,
a really heavy sound.
The main
reason for the slowdown in activity was my departure to university. We were a
bright bunch, but for some reason I was the only member to make it straight to
university from college. I can’t remember a last rehearsal, a last gig. I can’t
remember us sitting down and talking about splitting up. It just seemed to
happen.
On a
positive note, my departure lead the way for the formation of Dugong. Jarv
switched to bass, Scott to drums (replaced shortly after by Tim Bradley), Sam
stuck to guitar, and they were joined by Matt Broadbent on vocals.
For me, that
was the main reason I didn’t think Jarv and Sam would consider a reunion. For
me Retarded Fish was the pinnacle of my time in bands. I’d dabbled here and
there while at university in Middlesbrough, and again while living in Manchester but nothing
ever got off the ground. It just didn’t feel right. Dugong had gone on to
achieve great things releasing some amazing stuff on Bombed Out Records,
touring in Germany etc. and were a big part of the next wave of Wakefield bands that also
included Pylon and the Cribs.
Jarv then
got involved with Nathaniel Green again on bass, and again gaining a solid
following. Sam had moved to Leeds during the
Dugong days, and has been involved with a number of bands since Dugong split.
Would they
want to take a step backwards to Retarded Fish? Would Jarv sing? COULD Jarv
sing?
A week had
passed since my Twitter message from Jarv, and we were on our way to Leeds to
see the Cribs play at the Metropolitan
University. I’m ashamed
to say this would be the first time seeing the Cribs live. I’d tried and had
tickets a couple of times before but events conspired against me and I never
made the shows so I was determined to enjoy this.
The gig was
amazing, and afterwards I got talking to Mrs Jarman. It’s easy to see how these
boys turned out so nice as she’s a lovely woman, and after being given her AAA
pass I headed backstage to try to get a pass for Jarv too. I opened the door to
the dressing room, and was slightly taken a back. Not due to the debauched
behaviour of the band. No. Retarded Fish were blasting out from the bands MP3
player!
Ryan had
tweeted earlier in the week that they were listening to Retarded Fish in the
van, but this was a real shock, a pleasant shock. I got Jarv a pass and headed
back to get him. It was great to have a few rum and cokes with the guys post
gig and I couldn’t resist asking about the support offer. I wasn’t sure if Jarv
was winding me up, so I asked Gary.
Sure enough he confirmed it. If the night hadn’t been good enough already, well
that was the cherry on the cake. I went to bed a happy chap.
The day
after the gig, I met up with Sam and Jarv for our session in the Flanshaw
rehearsal room. We were getting together under the moniker Badgekisser,
something we dabbled with around 2000, originally with me on bass, Jarv on
drums, and Sam on guitar. We played our only gig at Players, a mainly
instrumental set and nothing to write home about.
We had a
great time, coming out of the 3 hour rehearsal with 3 songs - moderately heavy,
no lyrics. It did however give us an opportunity to have a chat about the offer
from the Cribs though, and although I was eager Jarv wasn’t that keen, and I
think Sam thought we were just taking the piss but he said he’d do it.
A few weeks
passed and nothing more had been said, other than a bit of banter in the pub
with Jarv and Greg. If I’m being honest, I was having doubts as to whether this
was going to happen. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe that the Cribs boys wanted
us to do it, just that it seemed to be something way above anything we’d done
before, and a long long time after we’d split.
Then out of
the blue on Saturday 17th March I had text off Ryan.
“Alright
man, I know Gaz asked you if RF wanted to play at the Opera House with us on
May 16th, was this something you wanted to/could do?”
I replied
back straight away.
“Of course
mate, I’d do it in a heartbeat! All the RF boys are up for it”
This wasn’t
exactly true. As I said Greg was keen, Sam had agreed to do it, but Jarv was
another story. I thought back to the original message on Twitter, how he’d
asked for copies of recordings. That was surely an indication that he’d do it
right?
Ryan
replied: “Cool, will
get back to you about it when it’s sorted”
This was
great, proper confirmation that it was happening. I text Sam, but I still got
the feeling he didn’t believe me!
I was
meeting Jarv and Greg later that night at the Inns so I planned to sell it to
Jarv then. I got there a bit early, and was chatting to Rob Dee about my text
from Ryan when I got a text off Jarv saying he wasn’t well and was crying off,
and just as I read it Greg arrived. I updated Greg with the news from Ryan
straight away, he was pretty excited about it. I had someone to help me
persuade Jarv.
Later that
night Ross came into the Inns, we chatted for a bit, and again the gig came up.
“It’s
definitely gonna happen” he said.
Right, this
was getting serious now.
A few days
later, I tweeted Jarv, Sam and Greg about getting together for a bit of a
meeting, suggesting the Kings Arms at Heath. We could have some food, bring the
wives, partners and kids and just have a bit of a laugh.
So the band
meeting happened on Saturday 31st March at the Kings Arms at Heath.
It was a nice informal gathering, with my wife and little boy, Greg and his
partner and kids, Sam and Jarv (whose better halves were unable to make it) and
we arranged 3 practice dates, and made sure we all had the full back-line gear
needed for the night (earlier that week Ryan had text to let us know what
equipment was needed). Having the wives/partners and kids there really made it
sink in how long ago it was since we’d played together as Retarded Fish. We
worked back from the 16th May, and organised 3 3-hour practices on
Sunday evenings, the first being the 29th April.
Just before
the band meeting Jack Daniels sponsorship was announced as part of the JD Roots
gigs, and it was announced that the Black Belles were to be supporting all the
bands involved. This was a bit of a shock, and at this point I again questioned
if this was actually gonna happen. Greg also mentioned he’d thought the same as
this band were the protégé of Jack White, over from the US. A big deal
really.
Later that
week, Ross messaged me on Facebook while he was in the US, and said
there was another band on the bill but that we were still playing. He must be
telepathic! It put my mind at rest, but another issue had crossed my mind.
On the 5th
December 2009, the Cribs played at gig at the Doncaster Dome as part of a 5
date UK
tour. A local gig in the festive period sounded like a great thing. The support
bands on the tour were Sky Larkin and Los Campesinos! but at the Doncaster gig the Slits were announced as special guests.
Sky Larkin and Los Campesinos! probably weren’t a surprise in terms of being
support acts, but the Slits were old school punks, there with a personal
invitation from the Cribs. I’m sure most of you will know what happened during
their set. The fact it was near Christmas, and that most of the people involved
were pissed up is no excuse, and the Slits were treated like shit by a section
of the Cribs fans. The band nearly didn’t play that night as they were, and I
quote "disgusted by the way that a certain minority treated The Slits during their set. The
night was marred… by a handful of people throwing coins, beer and generally
putting on a disgustingly chauvinistic display of small-mindedness".
The Cribs
fans are known for being ultra loyal, which is great, but in my mind I was
drawing parallels to the Slits and us. There as special guests personally
invited by the band, both with a more punk sound. Even worse though is that the
Slits were a professional band, with a real history. If they were treated so
badly, how would the Cribs fans treat us? Would we be putting the Cribs in the
same position, possibly having to call off their first home-town gig in 5
years?
I didn’t let
on to the rest of the band. I didn’t let on to anyone, but this did trouble me
for a while. The only thing that put my mind at ease was the reaction from
friends old and new about us playing. Everyone seemed genuinely excited, and
this triggered a good few weeks of nostalgia talk on Facebook and Twitter, with
a Homegroan demo compilation CD doing the rounds and being particularly well
received. I figured if enough of our friends were there we’d be fine.
So the first
practice came around. Sunday 29th April. The week before we’d
swapped recordings and videos of us playing back in the day, so we had
something to revise from. Greg had written down what he thought were the
correct notes, which weren’t far off. We detuned to accommodate Jarvs slightly
lower voice (that’s what smoking a million fags does to you) and cracked on.
The
practises progressed well, nervy at first, but gradually we started to get the
old songs right. We also started having a really good time, combining practises
with trips to the Inns.
A few weeks
before I’d suggested putting a Homegroan cover into the set, which everyone
seemed to be in to although we all had different ideas as to which song to do.
During the first practice, Sam played the first few notes of Yes No Maybe So,
and then the rest of us just joined in. Totally natural. We managed to get
through most of the song on the first playing, and with that the decision was
made.
Our final
practice was the night before the gig, a late one. We got there for 9pm and
kicked off, running through the set 3 times, then left. By the time I got home
it was gone 12 and I was knackered. I headed straight to bed and had no trouble
getting to sleep.
So it was
the morning of the gig and I woke feeling good, excited rather than nervous.
I’d kept my morning free and just chilled with my wife and little boy. We had
some breakfast, had a walk into town and did some shopping, and after dropping
the practice room keys back with Neil Laird, I packed my drums and the bass amp
into my car…
...the conclusion of this story - the actual gig - will appear in Issue 3.2 of Rhubarb Bomb, available from August 2012. Retarded Fish will play a one off headlining show at The Hop on September 7th with That Fucking Tank, Protectors and Imp.